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The out of context quotes thread

*Baby is hitting Earl in the head with a saucepan*
“Not the Momma! Not the Momma!”
“Do that one more time and a little dinosaur will learn how to fly.”
*Baby stops and breaks the fourth wall by staring at the viewer and thinking before hitting Earl again*
“Not theeeeeeeeee Momma!”
*Baby goes flying across the room and hits the wall and falls down before he sits up*
“Again!”
 
Warning: you are now in forbidden space.

Forbidden, schmur-schmidden. What are they gonna do, write a letter? Ooh, I’m so scared.

I’ve lost control of the ship!

Lost control of the ship?! *screams*
 
There. We can make these into spears.

And we can tie these caterpillars together to make bow strings for bows and arrows.

And we can use this machine gun to shoot them! *cocks the gun and starts firing*
 
Neither of us can get up when we get knocked on our back.

What? I’ve seen you get up off your back tons of times.

Those times I was slightly on my side.
 
I know the source of the greenhouse gases. But in my shame, I’ve kept it secret for 75 long years. Oh, it haunts my memory still. *pulls out a ray gun and aims it at his head*

Professor! No! Don’t do it!

Don’t do what? Don’t use this memory ray so I can remember what happened back then?
 
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