Koolewong: Kamp Koala

[Nunnafinga]

Yowie was summoned to Resident Services to discuss a matter of great importance.....where'd that new flag come from??

Tom Nook: "Yowie,I was just contacted by representatives of the Australian government.They informed me that due to factors such as continental drift,the shifting of tectonic plates and the over consumption of carbohydrates,Koolewong is now located within Australia's territorial waters.In other words,we are now a territory of the Commonwealth of Australia."

Yowie: "Wow....tie me kangaroo down,sport.Does that mean that you're the Grand Poobah of Koolewong now or whatever they call it?"

Tom Nook: "No....you are!The Australian government specifies that only humans can hold office and since you are the only homo sapien on this island,you have been named Grand Poobah....er,Governor of Koolewong."

Yowie: "What??!!?!!I'm just a small boy with no back story and no logical reason to even be here living with a bunch of koalas,three tanukis and a flaky dog.Are they (Yahoo) serious??"

Tom Nook: "Yes.In fact,those government representatives I mentioned are here on Koolewong and want to speak with you."

Yowie: "Geez,I can't wait."

Yowie: "So you guys wanted to see me?"

Rooney: "Yeah..g'day.I'm Rooney and this here is Mathilda.......

Mathilda: "That's right.....I'm Mathilda and I don't waltz!In fact,if you even mention waltzing I'll stonker you!"

Yowie: "Stonker?"

Rooney: "Calm down ya bloody sheila!We're here on business.You can have a go at that kinkajou Tom Nook later on if you like.Anyways,Yowie.....do you have a last name?"

Yowie: "Um...I don't really know.I suppose I could have given myself a last name but they only give you ten letters....."

Rooney: "Right,then.Never mind.We're going to explain your duties as Governor of Koolewong."

Mathilda: "As Governor of the Australian Territory of Koolewong you will be expected to observe and uphold all Australian laws and also to promote tourism to our fair country."

Yowie: "Promote tourism?How?"

Rooney: "We're glad you asked........."

"G'day.I'm Governor Yowie of the Australian Territory of Koolewong.Yeah,for me there's nothing more exciting than a match of good ol' Aussie Football brought to you by the Australian Football League.So crack open a stubby and watch many large men wearing tiny shorts tackle and grab each other."

"G'day again.Governor Yowie here.Come to Australia and indulge in this gray ooze of deliciousness.....the ever iconic delicacy,Vegemite.After having a bit of this slimy morsel,you'll never complain about the food in foreign countries again...."

I think he's getting the hang of it.

Come to Australia or Mick Dundee will show you his knife.

 

[Nunnafinga]

Ha!And I suppose the same article said that it would be a good idea to make a video game about a getaway on a remote island too.Did the Nooks write that rubbish?

Not many people know this but Ozzie is a retired child actor.He appeared in several TV commercials and programs in his native Australia:

Here's a still from a short film he did for Tourism Australia.

Koala girls just want to have fun.

Even Siamese twin koala girls joined at the head just want to have fun.

Oh,yeah...I've heard of you.I'm Yowie.....I'm kind of a big deal around here.Yes,I'm quite popular with the ladies.....I have an impressive collection of rare gyroids and as you can see,I have a mighty pair of guns.....

Umm...actually,your "guns" look like bent broomsticks with billiard balls stuck on the ends,your ginormous head is way too big for your body and your nose is weird.

The epitome of embarrassment: To be spurned by a semi-attractive porcupine in front of the koala girls.At least Melba isn't smirking.Say...my nose is kinda weird.......

 

[Nunnafinga]

Pouch??I thought you were a boy koala....

Yowie: "Yo,K.K......do you know that song "Close To Me" by The Cure?"

K.K.: "No,but I know that Police song called "Don't Stand So Close To Me"....hint,hint......."

Yowie: "Naw,I don't like that one."

K.K. : "No kidding......"

Congratulations to Collingwood for winning the 2023 Australian Football League Grand Final yesterday.Go Pies!

 

[Nunnafinga]

Now here are three stout koalas in the middle of an extremely strenuous workout.But wait.....where is the island's only jock koala?Surely he's preparing to join his sweaty mates......

Nope.

We had back-to-back birthdays on Koolewong.Gonzo's party was on Friday the 13th but the only bad luck that day was Melba's dress.

No use letting a perfectly good cat tower go to waste.Hmm,does this mean I have to get a cat?

G'day sheilas n' blokes.Here's Australia's best,The Fuzzy Wiggles....!

 

[Nunnafinga]

Koolewong had its first Hawaiian Shirt Day.So,if you wanted to you could go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt.......and jeans....or no jeans.

The regional Aussie rivalry between Melbourne and Sydney reared its ugly head the other day when Melbourne denizens Yuka and Eugene refused to sit near the purple koala named after that awful city to the northeast.Yowie wouldn't sit near Sydney because she smelled kinda funny.

Yup,my cousin Ducky from Billington got me into it.


Turkey Day
---------------

This was the first acknowledged Turkey Day on Koolewong.It's interesting to note that no turkey is served on Turkey Day so perhaps the day is named after the particular species of the chef?If Franklin was a two-toed sloth would it be called Two-Toed Sloth Day?

The food looks great but it's too bad koalas don't eat anything but eucalyptus leaves.I hope Yowie is really hungry.

Men-what?I think I'd rather have the manure.

Lyman finally wore the shamrock suit I gave him on his last birthday.That there koala is a fine thing.

 

[Nunnafinga]

Eh....it's winter and Koolewong is covered with snow.It's odd to see warm climate animals like koalas frolicking in the snow and to be honest,it's gettin' to be mighty dull around here.Here are a few things I do when I get bored on my island:

I rediscover the joy of using a vaulting pole.Wee!

I clear the beach of the ordinary seashells in hopes of getting better ones.I found eleven dang sand dollars and only two giant clams!Sand dollars are the sea bass of the beach.

Whoa....I guess it's been a while since I gathered any seashells.

I tried to wake up Gonzo by banging my net on his door.I'm not sure if that woke him up but I thought I heard the sound of a shotgun being loaded.......

I thought about clearing the beach of all this stuff but.....I guess I wasn't as bored as I thought I was.

I'll do a bit of clothes shopping when things are slow.Yuk!The worst item of clothing ever invented: elephant gray sweatpants.Just that name is disgusting.The words "sweat" and "pants" should never be used in conjunction with each other.

I really like The Roost but there's never anyone else in the place but that pigeon guy.Also,it's kinda set up like a bar and who wants to drink alone?

Hmmm....I suppose I could call up an old friend to come and visit.......

Hey,old friend.

Sometimes I'll take goofy photos of the weirdos that visit this island.Here's some camel nose for ya.

 

[Nunnafinga]

It was Festivale yestervale...I mean yesterday.I splurged and bought an Official Festivale Outfit.Hmm...Liberace used to wear stuff like this.

Yep.....the enormous teal bird with its gaping beak is a bit of a tip off.

Geez,this game won't even let me talk and you expect me to move my hips?

Aw,nuts!Now I gotta go home and change.There's two other guys wearin' the same outfit as me.

Um,just the ones stuck to my noggin.

Yeah,for some reason I get that feeling too........

Canberra thinks I look silly.Now I'm incredibly self-conscious.Aw,man.....look at the heavy fringe on the back of my top.It looks like a hand-me-down from Elvis.

Aw,well...I can still have some fun even if I look silly.Uh....is Canberra secretly mocking my fringe behind my back?

We have achieved maximum koala....well,at least for a screenshot.There are seven koalas in the frame....along with one human and one big weird bird.